I have been feeling very impatient lately. I don't know what has brought this on. Nor do I know how to get rid of it. It's really starting to weigh me down.
On a lighter note, it's down to me and one other person for the internship in the winery on campus! Mom thinks I should make brownies for John and bribe him. I'd like to think I'm above that, but maybe I should. If I don't get the internship it won't be the end of the world. It would mean that I could graduate, but I still wouldn't have enough experience to go out into the real world yet. There's a store that opened in Clovis not that long ago which makes labels for bottles of wine for special events (weddings, reunions, etc). I think I could work there, if they're hiring.
The other night I started wondering whether this is what I want to do with my life. I would love nothing more than to be a full-time household manager, like my mom has been. We will see if that can even be an option.
Which brings me back to my impatience. Why am I thinking about kids when I don't even have a ring? I feel dumb, and silly, and generally like the type of girl that I do not want to be. You know, the one that pressures the guy that she's with, until he pulls away and she's left wondering what she did. The girl that makes dumb comments like "I won't cut my hair until my wedding", when her boyfriend lives far away, and the only communication they have is the phone, then he breaks up with her when he moves back home. Not that I am saying that, or pressuring Coleman. But I have been thinking about it alot lately, and I don't know why it started. I don't know anyone that recently got engaged or married. Except Pete and Marissa. But their wedding was several months ago, and I only started thinking about this in the last month and a half.
I think that's enough ranting.