Long time no see

I'm not very good at this blog thing. I could take more time to be a blog person. But really, when it comes down to it, I'd much rather be doing something else. (Like knitting. I need to take pictures of some knitting projects from the last few months. I learned how to knit a beanie, and I knitted myself a sweater. The sweater turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.) Not talking about myself and what I'm doing. Which I feel is not a whole lot.

I'm still not working. It's been almost a year and I feel very inadequate, and my pride is hurt because I've had to ask my parents for help financially. I was so proud of myself for not needing my parents to pay for anything since my Freshmen year. And now, every time I think about money and bills and finding a job, my eyes get all watery, and my head hurts, and I practically burst into tears. I am so frustrated with not being able to find a job, and I know that the longer I don't have a job the harder it will be to get one.

I have a conundrum right now. My friend told me that if I could work from 10-5 a few days/week I could work at a winery. I have class everyday, partly to get enough units to remain full time as a student. I (am/was) going to get my Special Event Planning certificate. But if I dropped one of the classes I could work at the winery. If I dropped that class there would be no point in taking the other classes, and I would not get the certificate. I would still have full time student status. So do I take the immediate opportunity for a job, and just forget about the event planning certificate? Or do I try to find a different job, hope for the best, and keep the certificate which may help me get hired after I'm done with school?

Tonight was the first Tuesday night that I did not volunteer with the junior high group at church. Stupid class. I already miss them. Seriously. I think that is an age group I was meant to spend time with. What if I should have been a single-subject teacher rather than a winemaker? It's my last semester and I'm questioning my major...again.

Hopefully it won't be 6 months before I post on this thing again. But I can't make any promises.